Don’t expect this to last long. Regular posting, that is. Cuz it won’t. Trust me. We’ve been here and done this and IT DOESN’T LAST. So don’t expect me to stick around very long. But since I’m here, updates.
1. Back in I-don’t-know-what-month, I imported every blog post from every blog I’d ever created. And then I proceeded to comb through every post to ensure there were no broken links or missing images. And it proved to not only be a daunting and time consuming task, but one that would make me want to punch myself in the face OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Because 25-year-old me was painfully immature, selfish, and actually kind of bratty. And I probably wouldn’t be friends with her.
2. During this process, I finally hit “publish” on a few draft posts. I’m not entirely sure why I never published them before, but I have a feeling it’s because I have completely forgotten (or maybe never knew) how to end a post. Seriously. I get to the end and have said everything I want to say… and I just can’t wrap it up. So I hit save and walk away. But I read these posts for the first time in, like, years and decided they sounded pretty good as is. So, you can read this post about how scary it was to be an Uber driver. This one about my divorce (which was painful to read with all it’s hurt feelings and angst- especially now that I’m over it and happy). Or this one about how I’m a huge asshole and in which I apologize to both an author and an MLB pitcher.
There’s also this one, but it’s not a “post” so much as two sentences about why I hate young people. I came this close to deleting it (cuz it’s dumb), but I still hate young people, so.
3. During The Great Blog Compilation of 2017, I came across a post in which I declared my weight of 219 pounds. 219!! (Not a typo!) Um, did you know that’s OBESE? Happy to report that on any given Thursday (weigh-in day! holla!), I’m within a pound of 160. Haven’t decided on a goal weight yet. The thing is, I don’t feel like I’m trying. And if I have to pick a goal, then I have to actually start trying, right? I’d rather just keep eating and figure it out when I stop losing. Seriously, this has been the best most not-deprived way I’ve ever lost weight. I mean, sure, I had to basically stop eating everything I loved but once I got used to it and stopped crying, EASY PEASY.
4. Some things don’t change. I still don’t know how to end a post. In fact, I started writing this one (yes, this one, the one you’re reading) back in April and every time I come back to finish it, I scratch my head in confusion. What were my plans for numbers 4 and 5? After reading a lifetime’s worth of old blog posts, especially the ones where I spent TWO YEARS dragging my sad corpse of a marriage through divorce, there was so much I wanted to say, so much that has changed, so much that I needed to tell the world! Alas, I can never remember so I close the draft with every intention of coming back to it later. Here we are, a month later, WRITING ABOUT NOTHING. Still can’t remember.
5. I’m sure I could go back and read through some of those old posts to try and trigger my memory, but honestly? You couldn’t pay me enough. They’re either sad and pitiful or young and immature (see comments above about hating young people). And they’re not at all a good time. Right now, there are 15 old posts sitting in my draft folder waiting to be re-published once I find their missing images (where do images go, anyway?) and every time I start to work on them, I feel my 35-year-old spirit slowly dying inside.
(Dying spirits. How’s that for ending a post?)
Chocolate + Whine 