A few weeks ago I read a book. (Nothing unusual about that.) The book started off a little slow. (The main characters didn’t speak to each other until nearly forty percent!) But then it built and built and I fell so hard in love with it that, by the end, I was pooping pink hearts and butterflies.
I fell so hard in love with this book that I actually wrote a review and over the last 5 years (and 500 books) I’ve written, like, 10 reviews so that’s saying something. But I have a snarky, sarcastic streak a mile wide so, naturally, I started the review with “all the things I hated about this book.” It was four sentences of didn’t like and three paragraphs of gushing love and weeks later I’m still feeling bad for those four sentences.
It got me thinking about how much I admire, not just real, live authors, but anyone who pursues a profession in a field that requires them to put themselves on display and take constant criticism from any Joe Schmo with the ability to hashtag depending upon their mood.
It got me thinking about how much I cringe and want to run away when anyone starts to talk about my writing, my photos, my anything. (Even when they’re being nice!)
It got me thinking about how, as an administrative assistant, I only have to take criticism once a year. And it’s usually constructive. And it’s usually not blasted on social media.
It got me thinking about how many customers I’ve wanted to punch in the face (over the last fifteen years spent in hospitality) for being whiny, complaining fucktards who think their shit don’t stink. Like you’ve never made a mistake!?
The fact is, we all make mistakes. All we can hope for is that we’ve grown up into mature adults with a modicum of dignity and understanding so we don’t act like total assholes when the mistakes happen.
That tagline over there wasn’t total snark. I am learning life’s lessons the hard way. The painful way. The way that leaves you with regrets and remorse and the burning need to apologize to people. Trust me on this, peeps, THAT IS NO WAY TO LIVE.
To Mariana Zapata: I think you are an incredible writer. My average rating on Goodreads is something sad like 3.3 stars out of 5. I gave Kulti 5. If I could have, I would have given it 10! 100! It was that good! I’m sorry for trying to be funny at the expense of your hard work.
To David Price: Once upon a time, I called you out on Twitter and then on my blog where I apparently felt it necessary to shame you because you refused to give a 40-year-old man your autograph. And while I still stand by my opinion that it’s, you know, a teeny, tiny bit rude-ish to give one person an autograph and shoot down another, I still feel like an ass for shaming you so hard. I should be shamed. I’m sorry for being such a dickhead and thinking that because two people read my blog I’m anyone even remotely important. You’re a person first and you’re allowed to say no. I’m a person who could benefit from learning to live with disappointment.
Chocolate + Whine 