5 things I hate about Texas

I hate the heat. (Are you trying to kill me, Tex?)

I hate the traffic and the freeways and how everything is at least 30 minutes away.

I hate the bugs. These black grasshoppers are ugly and menacing and if another one crawls out of my sink I might just perish on the spot.

I hate how ugly it is. I’m sure there are beautiful parts of the state, but so far? Fort Worth? Not. Pretty.

I hate that it’s not Montana. I am so homesick I could cry.