You lose some.

I feel like all I do these days is let people down. And I might talk a good game and use the ole “I don’t give a fuck” convincingly, but truth be told? I care. I really care. I don’t want to hurt people. I don’t want to disappoint anyone. Except none of that seems to matter. “I didn’t mean to” doesn’t apply. Because it’s already done. In a week’s time, I’ve managed to disappoint and/or hurt my mother. My father. My sister. My best friend ever in the whole wide world. My boss. Es. Plural. I have a lot of bosses and I don’t think any of them are happy with me at the moment. I used to do things right. When did that change? When did I start failing life? And why is it that the more I try to make things right… better… the more damage I manage to inflict?

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One Response to You lose some.

  1. rory says:

    um, Stephanie?, maybe don’t get quite so introspective?
    You’re probably fine and haven’t let anybody down anywhere.
    Bear up, babe.

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