1. Go somewhere quiet. Like, the library!
2. Check your e-mail, Facebook, and Twitter. Just to get those out of the way.
3. Open a word processor of your choice.
4. Stare at blank page for precisely six minutes.
5. Stare off into space for another two.
6. Notice how the woman a table away apparently has no problem getting her brain functioning if the rapid motion of her fingers across her keyboard is any indication.
7. Contemplate your hair. Notice split ends. Count back to last haircut. Wait, it’s been A YEAR ALREADY?
8. Place hands over your keyboard because maybe if you go through the motion, the words will come.
9. Stare at fingers hovering over the keys; swear to quit biting fingernails.
10. Regret not going to Starbucks.
11. Slump back in chair; think about how quiet the library actually is.
12. So quiet, you may have to do serious bodily harm to the man reading the newspaper. I mean, really, does he have to turn pages quite that loudly?
13. Debate putting headphones in. Decide angry rap music probably won’t help.
14. Realize you have to use the restroom.
15. Spend eight minutes looking for the restroom. Contemplate asking an employee, but decide against it ‘cause that’d be too easy.
16. Browse the endless aisles of books on your way back to your table. Wonder if your masterpiece will ever grace the shelves. Think, not at this rate.
17. Sit back down.
18. Repeat steps 2 – 14.
19. Finally realize you still haven’t written a word; refuse to feel at all defeated. After all, it’s only the first day!
20. Pack up and head to Starbucks for much deserved latte.
21. Write new blog post.