Politics! Scary!

Oh, peeps, we’re gonna have a field day with this one.

So, my mother and her husband are republicans. Also, conspiracy theorists. Well, they swear they’re not, but… they are. I zone out whenever one of them begins a conversation with “you want to know what I read online today?” or “I saw this video on YouTube…” because I know what’s coming. Obama! Democrats! The government! Scary!

According to my mother, we are one crisis away from a total economic breakdown. And food riots. This is why they’re hoarding rice and tuna in the attic. And on their boat. Which they fully intend to sail around on like freaking Noah when the whole world goes kaput. ‘Cause that’ll save ’em. (How do you escape the END OF THE WORLD?)

The other thing I should tell you about my mom is that she’s forgetful. Terribly so. Which means, I’ve gotten sucked into her theories not just once, but many times since she can never remember that she’s already told me. (Sometimes it’s painful listening to the same stories over and over again.) (And, by “sometimes,” I mean always.)

A lot of people have theories on the end of the world. Many expect it within the next couple of years. To this I say: blah, blah, blah. I just want to live my life. I want to be happy again. I want to flirt with a cute boy and have a first kiss. I want to have a home and a dog and several kitties and a turtle. And, I dunno, a kid. Maybe. Someday.

If I start buying into the whole Nostradamus-2012-Mayan-calendar-world-is-ending thing, then I might as well go back to my husband now. I mean, might as well spend the next two years with someone I love, right? And not, oh, I dunno, in my mother’s house. Listening to her go on and on about what Obama’s done now. And her estimates on how long 200 pounds of food will last.

(Not that I don’t love my mother. I do. But.)

But when she starts talking END OF THE WORLD, I start thinking “what if” and feel that tiny seed of fear begin to root itself in the pit of my stomach and that nagging desire to just go home, to my husband. Because END OF THE WORLD! SCARY!

Okay, go ahead and call me crazy. But my mom started it. So, ahem… your thoughts?

By the way, my mother just ended a phone conversation with, “Let’s get together soon. It’d be nice to see you before the whole world goes into the toilet.” I’m not kidding.

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7 Responses to Politics! Scary!

  1. Debbie W says:

    Sorry….I'm laughing here…because I know exactly what you are talking about! A former friend was just like your mother ~ except he wasn't stocking up on tuna…his thing was wine. I really feel your pain because he use to make me nuts and we were 3000 miles away from each other. He lived in Orange County so I only got the daily email and telephone version of what you get in person. I don't know how you do it.That in itself would be enough to convince me to go back to the Husband!!

  2. Theresa G says:

    ugh do I hear you. I don't know about end of the world mumbo jumbo. I hear a lot of doom and gloom from politics itself. If so'n'so loses, if such'n'such bill passes/doesn't pass DOOM! GLOOM! MELTDOWN!Whatevs. I do the same thing every day regardless of who is supposedly running things. I get up, get dressed, hopefully get three square meals and a snack, I do my job, try to be the best version of me every day (even though sometimes the best version on a given day might be barely human) and then repeat the next day.

  3. smalltownsmalltimes says:

    I'm so sick of Republicans — and I'm a Republican.That said, I'm sick of Democrats, too. I'm tired of all of them and their whiny, double-talking selves. And why do the guys on Fox news sound like such babies? It give those of us on the right (just slightly — ever so slightly on the right)the creeps to be a part of them. I can barely say they words "I'm a Republican" for fear of people assuming I'm like the guys on Fox. Oh, it's all a mess. I need chocolate.

  4. Angry Asian says:

    i don't mean to laugh but i so am. i too think the world is ending, not because of politics but because of the music we are have to listen to on the radio. how is ke$ha employed?!?! all kidding aside, i have wondered about the whole 2012 thing, and how i am no where close to finding my soulmate & if i should just throw in the towel & go back to the ex, the man who loves me so devotedly. then i think someone should've kicked Nostradamus' in the effing nuts.

  5. rory says:

    We may not make it 'til 2012. There's a whole kooky Christian group that believes the end of the world will be May 21, 2011 which is a flippin' SATURDAY for Christ's sake!I mean, since Mondays suck anyway, why can't the world wait to end until the 23rd?

  6. MichelleSG says:

    We've been talking about the end of the world for centuries now, Obama was just enough of 'different' so now they can blame it on him. Poor guy. Remember everything he's dealing with is a direct result of the decisions made by past presidents. Same deal as all the other presidents before him. They're just making the best of what was previously jacked up. If people don't like what he ends up doing then they can blame it on Bush. Lord knows Bush was the best blame shifter out there, the putz. I don't do politics since it's all lies out of the mouths of morons. Not worth my time.Don't use it as an excuse to make you go back to your husband. You need to face those issues all on their own.Oh and as far as what I think is becoming of the nation. I think we're headed in the direction of becoming a third world country at a very fast rate. When you lose your middle class you become a third world country. This is not Obamas' fault, this is the fault of the government as a whole over the past 50-80 years. Our government is set up so that no one person is responsible. Checks and balances remember? That means it's not one presidents fault, especially one that's only been around a few years.

  7. The Hat Chick says:

    Your mother must be related to mine. Does your mom have enough ammo and gunpower to create a militia like mine?Just have a glass of wine and piece of chocolate something and think about it all tomorrow. That's what I do.And guess what? Tomorrow shows up every time.

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