One. The Husband… blah blah blah… I don’t want to go there; I’m not ready to go there; you don’t want me to go there. I was depressed. Like, severely. Like, couldn’t stop crying. Felt like I had the flu. I went to the doctor, went back on The Prozac (which I probably shouldn’t have stopped taking in the first place) and now, weeks later, I’m finally starting to feel almost, somewhat, normal. (Whatever that means.) So, this is me, trying to push myself over the hump.

Two. I started watching Grey’s Anatomy. (Because I needed something to distract myself from the gut-wrenching anxiety.) (Anxiety sucks.) I wouldn’t say it’s my favorite show ever and now that I’m feeling better and don’t need the distraction I’ve basically stopped watching, but I went through the first 6 seasons fairly quickly and, well, it wasn’t bad. Still, ER was way better back in the day.

Three. Mint Chocolate M&Ms are back. They are my all-time favorite M&Ms and they only come out during the holiday season. And even though I’m boycotting Christmas this year (because I’m just not ready), these M&Ms make me happy. (I wish food didn’t make me happy.)

Four. Speaking of food. My mother bakes bread. BAKES. BREAD. Homemade, wonderful, warm, soft, fresh-out-the-oven bread. So, I’ve basically been gorging myself on thick slices of steaming bread smothered in butter! BUTTER! Do you know what this means? My goal? My weight loss goal? Total fail.

Five. I’m determined to make 2011 the year of the library. I got a library card a few weeks ago. Yes, an actual library card. And I even checked out a book. My problem, however, is that I’ve been reading e-books on my iPod for the last year and I’ve become very spoiled accustomed to having all of my books with me everywhere I go and being able to read anywhere. Now I’m finding it very difficult to revert back. Of course, it took only a very rough estimation of how much I’ve spent on those e-books in the last year and, suddenly, I was very much resolved.

Six. Thanksgiving. It’s on Thursday. I have to work which, you know, kinda sucks but I’m looking forward to taking a week off in December and spending it with my sister and her family in Utah. My parents and younger siblings will come up as well and we’ll have a big meal that resembles one you might have on Thanksgiving or Christmas, but since I’m boycotting the holidays and dragging them down with me, we’ll just call it “dinner.” I’ll overdose on my sister’s t0-die-for sweet potatoes and it will be awesome.

So, tell me something… am I the only one who wants to postpone the holidays for another six months? (And if you say you’ve finished your Christmas shopping already, I may just have to hurt you.)

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28 Responses to Six.

  1. Lan says:

    a. it's good to have mini goals. eating your weight in mint M&Ms is great. and kudos for using your library card, i tend to keep the books & the library gets mad at me.b. i'm not doing a blessed thing for turkey day either. for once, i am not going to any family member's house & i am not making any turkey-related meal. in fact, it's either going to be wonton soup or duck soup FOR ONE. yes. i'm doing it solo. i've also booked a weekend away ALONE for my birthday in december. i'm beyond excited over it.c. i'm hooked on grey's but you're right, ER was better.d. have a lovely week, i'm glad you posted again!

  2. MichelleSG says:

    Oh darlin I feel your pain.1. Never go off your meds trust me on this one.2. Good tv can get you through just about anything, it turns off your brain.3. My thing is peppermint ice cream so I hear ya4.I'm at an all time high in weight. It's horrifying really. And my gym membership got jacked because my bank card had some fraudulant usage issues. Don't ask, it's a pain.5.I wish I had the self discipline to do the library. I don't. I do, however, have Half Price Books. It's a happy medium.6. The holidays blow. I'm good with never having them. Ever.Don't worry, this too in time shall pass. And you'll get paid holiday pay on Thursday right? I have to come into work and set somethings up this weekend but it doesn't have to be on Thursday. Which is good since I'm the one making the food….

  3. Christine says:

    I have to make the sweet potatoes twice???!!! 🙂 The pretzel M&M's are better.Also, my library has e-books I can download with my library card number (I have to sign in with the number and can download them to my computer.) You should see if yours does the same.

  4. Krista says:

    Yeah for the year of the library! (I'm a librarian). Good news – if your library subscribes to Overdrive's audiobook/ebook service (like most libraries do), by the end of December you should be able to download ebooks to you iPad for free using your library card. There's my outreach for the day ;)I've never had mint m&ms – I think I need to try some….Sorry about #1 – been feeling pretty blah here too… not that rough – but rough enough.

  5. Marina says:

    No I too want to boycot the holidays. Family members that I am not too keen of hanging out with come around and STAY!. Holiday shopping, getting remotely ready for the biggest traffic ever!I just want to curl up in my cover and sleep the holidays away.I think Christmas shopping and I start to hyperventilate.No, I have not even started to shop. Not one damn item

  6. WebSavvyMom says:

    –>I haven't even started shopping. I want to enjoy Thanksgiving first before rushing to get to Christmas. Also, our local library allows you to download free e-books to mp3 players, etc. if you have a library card. I still go the actual library because my son just turned 4 and he likes to get books out. If you really want to read a depressing book to realize how good your life is try, A Boy Called It by Dave Pelzer. I was literally sobbing reading his true story. ~deb

  7. Debbie W says:

    First ~ Mint. Chocolate. M&M's!!! Where have I been?? Why did I not know?? Must find them! Second ~ It was really hard for me when the holidays rolled around after my separation but I had little girls at the time so I had to go through the motions. Thanksgiving morning was harder than I thought it would be ~ staying in bed sounded much better than mingling with family . Then during dinner at the parents house later, my brother told me I needed to “get over it” and his idiot wife asked if divorced people put up Christmas trees??? Yea, I couldn't ever figure that one out either. I'm hoping your holiday is much better. 🙂

  8. rory says:

    Sorry. But Miss Carol and me are gonna brine and roast a turkey and have friends and family over and hang out and drink beer and cocktails and chest bump and have a really good fucking time.Do we suck?Did I miss the meeting that holidays and days off work blow?

  9. Theresa G says:

    Heck yeah- the holidays are coming too soon! Half my family celebrates Hanukkah and it starts on the FIRST!!! Gah! Thankfully a craft store opened near us, so Ranger and I have been painting ceramics for everyone. But there's still the cards to write and send. Ahhh

  10. Gwynne says:

    My friend refused to do Xmas one year and had a Hawaii themed party instead. Lots of fun. I understand the book thing. Some libraries are able to work with e-readers. If yours isn't check out the Seattle Library. You could likely download from their system.

  11. HonduranBaker says:

    I agree. Where did August, September, and October go? no clue. Also, The words “Black Friday” make me break into a cold sweat. My palms and pits instantly start sweating and the thought of all those people fighting over stuff at walmart makes me anxious. I'm hive-ing just writing about it now. I'm broke so the plan is to make everyone homemade gifts. Except, I probably will put it off and then never do it. and then feel guilty about not doing it until next Christmas when I make another goal for myself that I will fail…sorry for the positivity in my comment ha.-L

  12. Gayle says:

    I totally am with you on postponing the holidays. We have had a really crummy three months and am not ready for Thanksgiving at all, much less Christmas. Why, oh why, does anxiety have to exist in humans? Our family could use a break from it, too. Sigh.

  13. Stephanie says:

    I know I already said it, but… anxiety sucks. There's a long history of anxiety disorders in my family, but I've never really experienced it before until now. It was awful. Wouldn't wish it on anyone.

  14. Stephanie says:

    LOL Sounds like something I would do.

  15. Stephanie says:

    How 'bout we all just fly to Hawaii instead? Sit on the beach with a cocktail… soak up the sun… Sounds like a new tradition I can really get behind. Now to find someone to fund it…

  16. Stephanie says:

    I've sent holiday cards once. It was during the first year The Husband and I lived together. Sometimes, usually while wandering around Target, I'll get the urge to do it again. But it doesn't last long. I just don't have the motivation for cards. Writing something in each one… addressing the envelopes… buying stamps… ugh. A text message is so much easier. 😉

  17. Stephanie says:

    You are just determined to rub my face in the positivity, aren't you? Why can't you just let me be miserable? By the way, this comment is coming from WORK. I'm at work! On the holiday! This DOES blow. (Okay, actually, it's not that bad. But I'd rather be drinking cocktails and chest bumping.)

  18. Stephanie says:

    How come I'm the last to know that you can get ebooks from the library? This is awesome!

  19. Stephanie says:

    I'm sorry, I couldn't help but laugh. Do divorced people put up Christmas trees? Seriously? What does she think… that they just shrivel up and die?

  20. Stephanie says:

    That reminds me. I think my book is due back tomorrow. I should probably double check. A weekend away alone sounds lovely. Have a great time… and happy early birthday!

  21. Stephanie says:

    1. I've learned my lesson. Trust me.2. It's wonderful when you need just that.3. Peppermint ice cream… LOVE.4. Me, too. And horrifying is right. 5. Still trying to master the library thing. I checked out one… then bought three. It's a start, right?Yes, I will get paid for the holiday. I don't mind working, really. I like these people. (Most of 'em.) Miss the family, but vacation next week to visit so there's something to look forward to.

  22. Stephanie says:

    Yes, you do. No, they aren't.It does! Woohoo!

  23. Stephanie says:

    Yes. Please. Try the M&Ms. They're awesome. This library ebook thing is a well kept secret. I checked and our libraries do offer them. I've already reserved three. 🙂

  24. Stephanie says:

    Deep breaths. You still have time.

  25. rory says:

    I'm gonna push you and make you looooove the positivity. Life is good, baby, every day you wake up.Enjoy it. Revel in it.

  26. small town small times says:

    Wait – you went OFF the prozac? Oh darling, that's what knocked you down. I mean sure, the other stuff was hard — but going off P is horribly hard. Meanwhile, the library – I know. What a scam. So today I checked out “Confections of a Closet Master Baker” and so far, I really like it — but I think YOU would love it. Lots of bakery prose and recipes. And a woman, sad with her life, turns to baking and voila! success!! Anyway, the book is fun and if you do't like it who cares? It's freeeee! What a scam.

  27. amhealy says:

    From now on, I'll put the bread in the fridge as soon as it's done baking. 🙂

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