Several months ago, I made a comment about Swedish Fish. I don’t remember where (here? Twitter?) or even what exactly I’d said (I’m sure it was something positive) (because Swedish Fish are awesome), but shortly after making said comment, I received an email from a nice man over at Cadbury (which, apparently, is now Kraft?). He wanted to talk to me about what it was exactly I liked about the candy. (Dude. What’s not to like?)
There was just one minor problem. The key word here is “talk.” He said it was important to do said interview by phone. I begged. I pleaded. Please, Mr. Swedish Fish, can’t we do it over e-mail??? Because I’m a total spaz and just thinking of trying to come up with clever, intelligent things to say made me break out in hives. How am I supposed to explain why I like Swedish Fish when I can’t even explain it to myself?!
What would I have said? “Uh, they taste good.” Yeah. Brilliant. You moron. (Yes, I’m talking to myself now.)
When Mr. Swedish Fish said that it was very important for him to hear tone of voice during an interview, I balked. I am a social retard. And I plain hate (hate!) talking on the phone. Especially with strangers.
(Quick story: Before I moved back to Orange County a few years ago, I applied for my job here at the hotel. My last and final interview took place via phone. It was with the hotel’s resident manager. The highest up. I was dreading the interview (as I do all interviews) but especially this one ’cause I knew I had to impress. As we began, I started walking around. Something I did whenever I was on the phone. I find it impossible to sit and talk. It’s just not normal. So, there I was trying to be amazing and pacing all about when suddenly I realized I was becoming a bit short of breath. And as soon as I had that thought, I really couldn’t breath! I had no breath! There was no air! I WAS GOING TO DIE! And, worse, not get hired! I was in such a state of panic that I lost all train of thought. I froze at the next question. I don’t even remember what it was. Finally, I had to say “I don’t know.” I DON’T KNOW! Who answers an interview question with “I don’t know?” Apparently, I do. Hey, I got the job. Jokes on them! But the experience? Scarred me for life.)
Anyway, I’m sad to say this Swedish Fish story goes nowhere. I never replied to the e-mail, never called. And I regretted it almost immediately. I told myself it wasn’t important, nothing would have come of it. But who knows? Maybe something fantastic would have happened. At the very least, free Swedish Fish? DID I PASS UP FREE CANDY? The thought haunts me.
I’m tired of always doing what feels comfortable. Comfortable is nice and safe and boring. Maybe at this point in my life, I look for comfortable. But I don’t want to be this person who is too shy or scared to try new things. LIKE TALK ON THE PHONE.
And I certainly don’t want to have a long list of regrets. Or miss out on free candy.