No heavy lifting required.

I’m turning into one of those bloggers. You know the kind. They write regularly for a while and then, one day, their posts start to taper off, apologies for staying away ensue, and eventually they fall off the side of the earth, never to be heard from again. It’s tragic.

But… there’s hope. Because I don’t want to be one of those bloggers. I want to stay around. I want to share the thoughts that rattle around in my head and keep me up at night. I want to share with you the awesomely boring funk I’ve fallen into that is TOTALLY JUSTIFIED. I want to share how I’m seriously trying to get on with my life, but it still kind of feels like I’m trudging through thick swamp water.

I want to tell you all about my sadness, my anger, my frustration, my anxiety, my hope… even my overindulgence of all things sweet and overloaded with hydrogenated oils. (Let me just say this: it’s becoming a problem.) (No, it is a problem.)

But, with all that being said, there’s one person with whom I don’t want to share. And you’ve come to know him well. You know… my Husband? It feels weird still calling him that because, at this point, he doesn’t feel like my husband anymore. (Is that normal?)

The fact is, I can’t be as honest or as open as I’d like while knowing he’s still reading. And, sure, he could say he’d stop, but I’d always worry… and wonder… and I’d continue stifling myself and, before you knew it, my posts would taper off like they have been until you never heard from me again. It’d be tragic. Tragic. Trust me.

So, with all that being said, I’m seriously considering a move. (It’ll be great! Just like old times!)  Okay, let’s be honest. It’ll suck. I won’t announce my new digs so all of the lovely people who lurk, read, and comment on this here blog will be lost… at least until I get around to leaving comments of my own. (Which I’ll get back to… any day now.)

Here’s where I need your help. (Yeah, like I’d make a decision like this without consulting you first. Ha!) Is this the right thing to do? Or a huge mistake? And if I do make the move, any suggestions for a new title? (If it’s left up to me, I’ll go with my sister’s suggestion of The Vamp Tramp.) (I’m not even kidding.)

This is the big one, peeps. Help.

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15 Responses to No heavy lifting required.

  1. Violet says:

    Right thing to do. Definitely. I think I once told Himself that I have a blog but I didn't tell him how to find it. I feel free to say whatever I want because he – and my parents lol – doesn't read it.As for the name, I don't have any suggestions. But step away from The Vamp Tramp.

  2. Whether you decide to move or not, I think you need to start experiencing NEW things with OTHERS. Then write about that awesome date, the stranger who made you laugh, etc. You need to move on emotionally (harder said than done, been there done that), and not care if he's reading it…because it will not be about HIM but others and this will drive him batshit crazy if he's taking the time to read your blog.

  3. kerryanne says:

    If you feel like it would free you up to write whatever you want then yes, make a move, send emails to the folks you want to have access and go for it. On the other hand, not giving a crap what your ex thinks if he reads your blog is cool too. In fact, it might be therapeutic 😉 We don't know who he is (well, I don't) so who cares? I know this is all easier said than done, but whatever you decide to do, you've still got your peeps 😉

  4. Mia says:

    oh honey.. all i can say is i did the exact same thing for the exact same reasons and i wish I never did. The people who WANTED to find my new blog did.. including the ex which is the main reason for me changing it. If they want to find you, they will… and I also miss the readership and daily comments I used to have.. much more than now and I doubt I'll ever get back there again.. I miss my old blog name since it was “me”.. I miss having all my history in one giant bloggy place.It's totally up to you, but it didn't work for me… but one good thing is that I think eventually, the people who aren't part of your life anymore get bored and taper off THEIR reading. Ya gotta be honest and write what you feel.. otherwise, why blog? Life's short, say what ya wanna say and if they don't like it they shouldn't be snooping. It's their problem.Write about how wonderful you are… even if you are sad and lonesome in between… you're pretty awesome lady.. hehehe. They'll love reading that :):::hug::

  5. Debbie says:

    Well, at first I was going to say that it was the right thing to do. But then I got to thinking. HE is the one who is making the decision to end this. Why can't you be honest about what you feel HERE, where we all know how to find you. If he doesn't like what he reads that is his problem. And if you do move and he really wants to read what you are saying then I agree with Mia, he will be able to figure out where you are. I think you should just stay put and be honest. We will all support you, even the lurkers.

  6. WebSavvyMom says:

    –>I agree with Urban Cowboy. Time to move on to a new blog – – take the design with you so you can write and express yourself without feeling He's Reading. Blog name suggestion:Sweet Experiencesor something using sweet to replace chocolate.~debwww.WebSavvyMom.com

  7. Angry Asian says:

    i think vamptramp is an awesome name, it's what my bff calls me. but anyway, there are capabilities where you can password protect your posts so what's his name can't read. you'd have to somehow get the pw to your readers (you can do so via twitter and then delete it, your readers will have to be uber fast to catch it or DM it.)i'm not so keen on the move. it's your space, not his.

  8. Twisting Ivy says:

    I lurk a lot and barely comment but I had to say I completely understand.My BF found my blog last summer and read all of the posts I had written venting about how I was feeling on bad days. I find it easier to write when upset and well some of the stuff he read wasn't pretty.I decided to delete 90% of my old posts and continue with the same blog name but I've struggled with this very thing. The name is “me”, yet even though I can see from my stats he hasn't read it since, I worry all the time when I'm posting if he will and if it will inadvertently upset him again. I wonder too about starting over with a new blog.So while I don't really have advice for you, just know you aren't the only one. And I regret having lost those posts I had written and letting myself worry about it even now.I hope if you do move you find a way to let us know so we can follow. =)

  9. Michelle J says:

    Longtime lurker, first time commenter. 😉 Stephanie, anywhere that you go, we will follow!I thought of you when I saw this email from Borders about pre-ordering “The Host”. Have you?!?

  10. Gayle says:

    I agree with Mia that if your husband wants to find your blog, he'll probably be able to find it. I don't know if you should change blogs. I think only you know how emotionally tied you are to this blog and how you would feel giving it up for a new one. Whatever you decide, we're with you!

  11. Tragic indeed. Move! Keep your past from invading your present. I'm glad you posted again 🙂

  12. rory says:

    Bbbwwwaahahahahaha!Vamp Tramp works for me. But, hey, you shouldn't have to change anything if you don't want to.If he reads and doesn't like, who cares?

  13. MichelleSG says:

    Do whatever makes you happy. Don't expect to be able to fully hide though unless you have a locked blog where only people you invite have access. It's annoying and it will lose you a chunk of audience. Good luck!

  14. Lady says:

    Well you know I'm one to move all the time….what with the blog-stalkers and all, I have no suggestions just plead to email/contact me when you DO move! mmmmkay?Lady

  15. Debbie W says:

    I don't think I'm going to be much help….part of me says move on so you can write comfortably…but another part of me says why should you have to move. I can understand you may not want him knowing everything that is going on with you…..I was right, I'm not much help. You must do what makes you comfortable and happy. And if you do move…let us know somehow!

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