Definitely not making the news.

So, I’ve done run out of things to say. Seriously. Sometimes I lay awake in bed at night and think up the cleverest little blog posts ever. Of course, in the light of day, I can’t remember the slightest tidbit and if I do, it always sounds like pure poppycock and I can’t help but wonder if I wasn’t dreaming. I briefly consider getting up to write it down, but, dude, I need to sleep.

I’ve been reading a lot. This normally wouldn’t concern me except I’ve developed the absolute worst sleeping pattern and it just ain’t conducive to working at six a.m.

Speaking of which, while I was lying in bed last night WIDE AWAKE, listening to the wind and rain and counting the very few hours until I had to wake up, I was thinking of all those book recommendations. (By the way, I announced my selection. We’ll be starting Loving Frank on February 1st. Two people made the recommendation and I couldn’t resist.) I have the incredible urge to work my way through each suggestion and make this big ole production out of it, but let’s face it. I don’t finish anything I start.

And that there fact, this inability to follow through with anything, has become a monkey on my back. A loud, screaming, hair-pulling monkey that won’t shut the fuck up and is quickly becoming my favorite obsession. It may or may not explain my recent lack of creativity and why I’ve kept my nose buried in a book. At least while I’m reading, my total disappointment in myself is finally quieted for a bit.

(This is turning into one hell of a downer. That was so not my intention.)

So, have you heard the news? Southern California is drowning. The grounds are saturated and there are lakes where there shouldn’t be. (Instead of drive, I now paddle.) This may just be the day where all of those asinine predictions come true and we break off from the rest of the country and sink.

Right to the bottom of the Pacific.

I know it’s only been a few days, but I’ve come to the conclusion that this rain will never end, the hem of my pants will always be wet, and 45 m.p.h. will be the fastest I’ll ever drive again. Which means I’ll always be 15 minutes late for work. Which means this weather will be responsible for me losing my job and not only will I eventually be homeless, but I’ll be homeless IN THE RAIN. Awesome.

Okay, one last thing.

This season’s psycho on The Bachelor has been working AT MY HOTEL FOR THE LAST MONTH. I have yet to even see her, but hear she’s a real bitch. I admit it: I’m pretty much planning on stalking her for the rest of the season.

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8 Responses to Definitely not making the news.

  1. Gayle says:

    So you're getting a taste of what it's like to live in Forks? I saw that two people recommended Loving Frank and I'm anxious to hear what you think of it. I've never read it.

  2. Poindexter says:

    go easy on yourself sista – from here, you seem pretty cute and smart and creative. You can read and write, keep a personal relationship going and show up at work every day. Seems like you're a reasonably together woman. I have a coworker who complains about her job – says she wants to write, but she never writes. No diary, no blog, no letters, not anything. Just keep writing and dreaming and giving thanks.

  3. Violet says:

    LOL @Gayle…we're getting a heaping dose of Forks-like weather here in the middle, too – I can't remember the last time I saw the sun.Stephanie, can't wait to hear what you and your book club think of Loving Frank!

  4. Stephanie says:

    Gayle, seriously! I only wish Edward came along with all this rain. 😉Poindexter, thank you for those very kind words. And you're right. It can be really easy to get down on yourself. I'm blessed and have a lot of wonderful things to look forward to, but sometimes it's easier to focus on the things I'm doing wrong, and not the things I'm doing right. I'll work on it.Violet, thanks for the suggestion! I'm looking forward to starting the book next week. I admit I'm a bit hesitant to read something that deals so closely with infidelity (I already have some harsh views on the topic), but I'm intrigued by the story and looking forward to a departure from the “norm.”

  5. So stop worrying about not having anything to write about. You're so funny even when u talk about stalking some wierd bachelor bitch hahaha.-L

  6. small town small times says:

    I loved Loving Frank. And I love your post. Use the rain to say in and bake for us. And all of your posts are clever, so go back to sleep.

  7. Natalie says:

    Loving Frank is on my (super long) list of books to read….and I'm so glad you're enjoying Still Alice!…you need to get more interaction with Michelle, that would definitely be blog-worthy! She's crazy!!!!

  8. Debbie says:

    I hate those hair pulling, screaming monkeys!! Not to worry….they usually get weary and go away and all is well in the land of Oz afterwards. :)Ooo….do tell if you are successful in stalking the psycho from the Bachelor show.

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