A contest. In honor of the one who used to be nice.

My husband is currently sitting in a dentist’s chair having ten (TEN!) teeth pulled. Let me repeat that. TEN. TEETH. PULLED. RIGHT NOW.

Which means, instead of blogging, I should be in the kitchen making mashed potatoes or liquefying all of those processed foods he likes so much. (Look, I don’t cook, okay? If he wants a cookie, then I’m his girl.)

Since The Husband’s going to be miserable and thus make me miserable and all that miserableness is going to spill over onto this miserable blog, I figure I might as well do something to lessen all the misery.

And, ta da! I just happen to have in my possession a $20 gift card to Barnes & Noble. If I had received this gift card even two weeks ago, I’d have spent it already. But no. I received it after I discovered the new love of my life a.k.a. eReader and had sworn off buying books for good.

Actually, I did go to B&N to browse around. I almost bought a New Moon calendar (no, really, I need a calendar!) and a pair of book ends. They were chess pieces, one red and one white. Just like the cover of Breaking Dawn. But they didn’t match our decor. And they cost more than my $20 gift card budget allowed.

So, rather than let it sit and waste away in my purse, I might as well have some fun and give it to someone who’ll put it to good use.

Of course, I’m going to make you work for it. Below is a list of random facts about The Husband. All are true except for one. Care to take a guess at which one is false?

1. My husband has a tattoo of the Minnesota Vikings on his left shoulder.
2. He was an all-star hockey player when he was five years old.
3. When he was just a kid, he once took a snow mobile into a fence while going 60 miles an hour.
4. He is completely deaf in his right ear.
5. He is poop-in-your-pants terrified of earthquakes.
6. He got so drunk on his 30th birthday he puked his guts out on the side of the road as I drove him home.
7. He eats Little Debbie snack cakes in bed every night.
8. He once won over a hundred thousand dollars playing the lottery.
9. He’s been to every state in the U.S. except Alaska.
10. He’s only read one book since I’ve known him.

Yep. All true. Except one.

I’m going to mix things up a bit this time. All participants will be eligible to win, regardless of being right or wrong.

The gift card can be redeemed online or in-store, so the winner can either provide an address where I’ll be happy to mail the card OR I can supply the card number via e-mail so the winner can use the card online. Your call.

A winner will be randomly selected and announced Wednesday, December 16th.

Hmm, is there anything else? No? Okay, well, then…

Go!

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Winner has been announced. Thanks for playing, peeps!