I came this close to posting a picture of poop.

Seriously. I actually took a picture. Of cat poop. And I had every intention of posting it here before I stopped and thought, Really? Cat shit? That’s how low you’ve sunk? Then I felt bad about myself and the general state of my blog and decided not to after all. You’re welcome.

So, we’re moving. And I’m surprisingly excited. Except for all this extra furniture that we’ll have to sell or store (the still relatively new furniture that we bought to fill the living room we never used), there’s really no love lost here.

We’re moving to a great location and our new place has this incredibly cozy feel to it even as soon as you approach the front door. And, call me a freak if you must, but I am positively giddy at the prospect of going through all the crap we’ve accumulated in this apartment over the last five years and finally getting organized. God, I love organization.

There’s just one teeny tiny problem. (And it’s neither teeny nor tiny.) In fact, it’s rather gigantic and I can’t quit obsessing about it. It’s the one thing that could melt my excitement into a puddle of morose frustration and failure.

The litter box.

What the hell do we do with the litter box???

I never consciously acknowledged this before, but The Husband and I have always lived in two bedroom, two bathroom apartments. The extra bathroom, as far as I was concerned, was for the cats. That’s where the litter box went. Far, far away from my bathroom so that I never had to worry about seeing it, smelling it, or stepping on little bits of litter.

I do not enjoy stepping on little bits of litter. It’s gross. And uncomfortable. And even if it hadn’t been tossed around with feces at one time or another, the feeling of stepping on those itty bitty pebbles would still make me want to kill someone.

I’ve thought of this from several angles and I just don’t think I can handle the litter box being in any other room of the house. That just doesn’t work for me. POOP BELONGS IN A BATHROOM. Preferably in a toilet. Preferably flushed down a toilet by someone other than me so that I’d never have to deal with it. The end.

I thought of putting it in the bathtub. The litter box is light and easy to lift in and out when needed, it would be easily accessible for cleaning, and it would eliminate cat little on the bathroom floor… But I’ve found (in the last twenty-four hours since impulsively saying “let’s try it!”) that it wasn’t as awesome an idea as I first thought.

One, it doesn’t eliminate cat litter on the bathroom floor (some, but not all). Two, it’s a pain in the ass to have to clean the bathtub every time you want to take a shower.

So, what the hell do I do???

I know some of you have cats. And I know some of you are just plain genius.

I need help. Any ideas? Thoughts? Suggestions? Anything??

And, so help me God, if even one person says “this is why I don’t have cats” I might just have to hurt you.

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15 Responses to I came this close to posting a picture of poop.

  1. Teeter says:

    I have heard of potty training your cats. Could be totally frustrating if nothing else! 😉

  2. Debbie says:

    I do not have a suggestion on the litter box, just my heartfelt thanks for not posting the photo….I was eating when I read your post. 🙂

  3. Mia says:

    I await the comments of your readers *grin*

  4. Deanna says:

    Check this out!!!http://www.catgenie.com/Totally worth the $$ in my opinion 🙂

  5. kerryanne says:

    Thankfully we have a little spare junk room which is where the box goes. I have absolutely no suggestions… Thank you for not posting a picture of crap 😉

  6. your mother says:

    And this is why I don't have cats…lol, but seriously, once you move into your new apartment, you will have genius in determining where to put the litter box. I promise.

  7. TheresaG says:

    We have two cats, and they are larger than average (10lbs and almost 20lbs) so no small box would work, and we have one box for each cat.Having only 950 square feet to work with is tough.I have a three panel screen thing I got ages ago from Target and I use that to hide the boxes and limit the litter bits (limits the cats' entry and exit points). When the litter is cleaned, we also do a quick vacuum with a vacuum that is conveniently stored right there next to the boxes. I'll see if I can take a few pictures to share with you. But not of cat poop. I'm pretty sure if a pregnant woman sees cat poop, her baby grows a third arm.

  8. NaKesha says:

    Possible idea. We have only one bathroom and it doesn't accomodate the litter box so we have the litter box on the floor in the linen closet. We have to keep the door open slightly and the cats learned quickly how to open it to get in and out. I have to vaccuum around the door but that's about it. We scoop a lot more to make sure it isn't smelly but we also have a deodorizer in there too. It seems to work for us.

  9. NaKesha says:

    Also we don't use a standard size box because we have two cats, so we use one of those under then bed storage things that covers most of the floor in the closet. There is hardly any litter on the floor.

  10. Alias Mother says:

    Sorry, chica. We keep ours in the laundry room, but I'm guessing you don't have one of those. But I've heard of folks keeping them in a closet. Get a big tray to put under it for litter containment purposes.Also, take my advice: sell, don't store. Storing is a money suck and it's stuff you clearly don't need in the first place. If you need it in the future, you can buy it again for probably less than you would have spent on storage. So says the woman who spent a year paying storage fees only to go fetch the stuff and say: “I didn't even miss this crap!” There's still boxes in our basement that haven't been opened in three years. Sell. Just sell it.

  11. I would say garage, but I'm guessing you wont have that option…

  12. My cat has his litter box in the “spare” room so se has his privacy (yes, he likes his privacy 🙂 and the box is not in plain view from anywhere else in the house. An empty closet is ok too. As long as the doors are kept open 😉

  13. Violet says:

    This is not why I don't have cats…but it's another good reason to add to the list.(I had to…I'm having a shit – no pun intended – month and this made me giggle.)

  14. gayle says:

    I have heard of people putting the litter box in a closet. Maybe it would be worth a try.

  15. My incredibly anal brother keeps their cats box in their only bathroom and just keeps a dustbuster in the bathroom. He vaccuums every day. Seems to work well. His apartment never smells like cat. P.S. Is there something wrong with me that I'm curious about the poop picture?

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