A few random thoughts on Halloween before I completely OD on chocolate.

One. My mom used to buy Halloween candy a month in advance. It didn’t take us very long to realize that it wasn’t really for Halloween.

Two. My older sister saved her candy for months afterward. I, naturally, ate all mine within the first forty-eight hours. And that’s being generous.

Three. The best part of Halloween (besides eating the goods, of course) was quite possibly The Candy Trade at the end of the night. My sister and I would dump our candy onto the floor and wheel and deal for hours. I’m not sure there was ever any point to it.

Four. In five years, The Husband and I have only had two trick-or-treaters.

Five. When The Husband gets optimistic about trick-or-treaters, he is only allowed to buy Candy Corn.

Six. Because the sight of Candy Corn makes me want to gag.

Seven. I think people who hand out fruit and individually wrapped bags of popcorn should be punched in the face.

Eight. The people who leave bowls of candy on their front porch are awesome only if you get there first. Otherwise, they’re total assholes.

Nine. I love browsing Halloween decorations. But I never buy them. And I never decorate.

Ten. The only costumes I can remember having dressed as include a spider, a jailbird, and a gang member when I was fourteen. I was a Blood and my best friend Jennie was a Crip. I don’t know why we found this so amusing. And most recently, at the office Halloween party, I dressed in normal clothes and called myself a civilian.

Because I’m kind of a scrooge.

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11 Responses to A few random thoughts on Halloween before I completely OD on chocolate.

  1. Violet says:

    I'm a Halloween scrooge, too. It started when I wanted so badly to have my own kids and it was painful to see all those sweet/scary faces at my door. But now, I just don't want to spend the money on candy I'm gonna give away!I'll be celebrating with my own bowl of fun size candy bars, thankyouverymuch.

  2. Mia says:

    Oh girl, too freakin' funny – I could identify it all – the candy swap at the end was the BEST.Now I look forward to the day after half price sale and bet you I'm gonna be the first in line :)I'll get two trick-or-treaters and I'm givin' em cash :)::hug::mia

  3. Debbie says:

    My brother and I use to do the candy swap when we were younger, and the tradition continued with my daughters. The only thing worse than fruit or wrapped popcorn balls……toothbrushes. Yes, my kids actually got them from a house one year!!

  4. Gayle says:

    I really missed out being an only child! I had nobody to trade candy with! I agree with the fruit and popcorn thing. My husband bought 2 big bags of candy this year and we had no trick-or-treaters!

  5. rory says:

    It's weird isn't it?During our lifetimes Halloween is morphing into something else completely different. Nobody I know had any trick-or-treaters.Where'd they all go?

  6. We had quite a few trick-or-treaters this year. I always decorate the foyer so the kids have something interesting to look at when I open the door. My kids and the neighbor kids always have a candy swap. Some parents pay their kids to give up the candy….it's not right, I tell you.

  7. Spruce Hill says:

    Hee hee! Totally agree. The trade is the second best part. Fun being the parent and stealing your child's candy too :)My kids got popcorn this year, they did not appriciate it.I bought candy for my older daughter this year because she is too cool to go trick ot treating, of course I bought my favorite kinds :)We NEVER have gotten trick or treaters.I always ate mine fast too. I found lots of candy wrapers on the floor yesterday I think I may need to detox my 7 year old!

  8. Natalie says:

    oh my gosh, LOVE the candy trade with the siblings…that was definitely the best part!The worst part? When my dad came by to make us pay our “taxes”!…I'm totally going to do that with my kids though 🙂

  9. Deanna says:

    Agreed. Candy Corn = Crap.

  10. Alias Mother says:

    Thank god someone else feels that way about candy corn. Ick.We used to live in our town's Halloween Central, where we would get nearly 800 trick or treaters a night. That not a typo. 800. They used to come from towns all over to go down our street.Now we live in the woods and get zero. So we go down to Halloween Central and mooch off those folks instead. It's definitely cheaper this way.

  11. #7: You are right. Punch them!

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