The one that almost ruined my Starbucks.

(The F word is peppered throughout this post. Read at your own risk.)

My position is being eliminated today. Or, at least, today I’ll be told.

And it really fucking sucks.

I’ve been spoiled with this position for the last two years. It’s a position they actually opened for me when, two and a half years ago, I announced I was interested in transferring to another hotel. They opened this position, gave me a Monday through Friday schedule, set hours, lots of freedom and flexibility… and for two and a half years, it was AWESOME.

I’m caught off guard by this for one big reason. I know our budget. I do the schedule. Our hours and productivity are FINE. There is no reason to eliminate my position, especially since we have two positions currently open. And what’s funny is we so can’t afford to fill them. We fill those positions and we’re fucked.

My pal, Jason, was the one who tipped me off. When all this shit began to hit the fan and the layoffs started months ago, we promised each other that we’d clue the other in if their job was on the line. I didn’t want to be that sucker who went on about their day, happily doing their job, just to be hit with, “Sorry, but your positions been eliminated.”

I’m glad he told me. I was able to call The Husband and cry all over myself in private. Now the only thing I’ll have to worry about is making my “it’s just allergies” sound convincing.

And if he’s right and it’s my title that’s the problem, then just fucking give me a new one! I work with a bunch of fucking ass clowns.

I’m sorry, but I’m really fucking pissed.

Oh, there are options. I can take a supervisor position in one of two departments. Or I can step down and be a front desk clerk again. To be honest, it’s all about figuring out which one is the lesser evil. Would I rather manage people I hate strongly dislike or be managed by people I hate strongly dislike?

I suppose the answer is obvious. I’d rather manage. But I was a supervisor before and the thought of going back makes me want to vomit. I hated being a supervisor. I hate the meetings, the whiny associates, the constant ass-kissing.

And I’m not going to apologize for whining. Yes, I know it’s great to still be employed. I’m lucky and should be grateful. Well, whoop-dee-fucking-doo. I’d rather just sit here and stew in my anger.

Maybe I’m too afraid and too comfortable. Maybe I should take severance and hit the road, see what else is out there.

Oh, God, I really hope I don’t cry when they tell me.

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17 Responses to The one that almost ruined my Starbucks.

  1. MichelleSG says:

    Go ahead and whine. Just because it's happening all over the place doesn't mean it doesn't suck when it happens to you. This is life, the economy sucks. Just how much do you want to suck it up and deal? Do you want to suck it up and deal? Good luck in your choice, and don't be surprised if you do end up crying. It's a girl thing.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Oh no! Well is severance worth it? Can you or would you want to collect unemployment? I don't really know much about the hotel world but is it difficult to get back up to the position that you are currently at, at another hotel? or do you have to start at the bottom again? I'm so sorry that you are going through this right now, I know how much it fucking sucks cuz i've been there too many times this year. Hopefully things work out for you. *hugs*-L

  3. Thanks, Michelle. It really does suck. Especially considering how blind-sided I feel. I know I shouldn't feel that way, what with the economy and all, but I have such a strong knowledge of our department and the position of our hotel that I really never expected this. I need a cocktail.L, I don't know if severance would be worth it. I'm not even sure yet how much it'll be. But, even if I decided to take the money and run, I still have absolutely no idea what I'd do with myself after. Where would I go? What would I do? It would be incredibly difficult to obtain this position at another hotel because it's just not a position you often find in hotels. They usually have supervisors or managers do my job. Which is why I really shouldn't be so surprised, but… I can't help it. Thanks for your support! I'm sure everything will work out in the end.

  4. TheresaG says:

    Stephanie- that's really FUBAR'd wish it were better for you.

  5. TheresaG says:

    I realized my comment was totally lame. The problem is, I'm struggling with a similar issue. I have started to blog about it around a dozen times, but just haven't. I'm not ready I guess. The fact that there is a chance that I'll lose my job just as I'm having a baby is a little too much. I wanted to be able to make a choice about if I was going to be a stay at home mom or a work full time mom. I'm not sure I'll get that wish.So, I don't have any witty comments or anything. Sometimes life is effin hard.

  6. Alias Mother says:

    Grrrr…. aaargh. Okay, this is when you have to do the gut check. When you think about losing your job, is your first reaction: 1) relief?2) sadness?3) blind terror?If it's relief, take severance and get out. You are already done there. Figure out what else you'd like to do. If it is sadness, stay and steel yourself to suck it up. If it's blind terror, take a few minutes to search your area for new jobs, just to console yourself that there is life beyond this job at this hotel.Just as a reference point, when the Alias Father quit his job last fall, we went through a few months of financial turmoil. But… our lives also dramatically improved because he wasn't miserable 8 hours a day. So there's that.

  7. Deanna says:

    I'm so sorry to hear this. It would be one thing for me to lose my job (which sucks more than going to the dentist) but it sounds like you really liked your job and liked your company up till this point. That's hard to find out there! But, I 2nd what Alias Mother touched on. I know lots of people who have this happen to them and it turns out, in the long run, to be one of the best things that every happened to them. It's hard to look at it that way now, though. FUCK!

  8. rory says:

    It totally sucks.I went through a similar thing almost two years ago and decided to pull the trigger and leave an industry I'd worked in for a long time. It was probably the scariest thing I've ever done, not only because I had a 2 yr non-compete, but also 'cause you just get used to a paycheck and doing the same thing day after day, even if you hate it. I'm still not doing what I'd really like to, but I'm way happier than I was. And it took leaving for me to realize just how unhappy I was.Good luck.

  9. Gayle says:

    Oh, no. I think Alia Mother's comment makes a lot of sense. Do the gut check and maybe that will help you decide what is best for you. And remember, even if you take one of the positions that are open, you can still look around for something else if you're not happy with it. The last job I worked at (before kids) lost their primary client and went from a 40 person office to closing down in about a 6 month period. It was horrible. I burst out crying in front of my boss when I found out a friend of mine was one of the first to be let go. Of course I knew my time was limited, too. I'm sending hugs to you.

  10. Theresa, I'm sorry to hear that you may be going through a similar experience. I hope I say this next part right- If you get laid off, I hope the worst part is that it wasn't by choice, because I can't imagine the kind of stress that losing a job while having a baby might cause. I hope that whatever you WANT to happen, happens. Good luck!Alias Mother, I think it's mostly sadness. Sadness because this job, despite the fact that I'm not exactly thrilled by it, has offered me the ability to have the same schedule as my husband. Not having that will be hard. Although, maybe it'll prove to be a good thing in the long run. Who knows? This is just one of those things where I'll have to see how it turns out. (I just hope I don't pass on the severance for a job I hate in 6 months.)Deanna, I do love the company and I love the position for the freedom it offered. It will be hard to make the transition. I hope this whole experience turns into one big positive.Rory, that's part of the fear. Staying because I'm too comfortable. Is this my chance to go out and do what I love? What makes me happy? Will staying be a HUGE mistake? Argh. I need someone to make this decision for me!Thank you, Gayle! The whole things just stinks. But maybe this is the push I needed to really pursue my dreams? (Wow, that sounds so cheesy.)

  11. Oh Stephanie that really sucks monkey balls! Thank God, your colleague tipped you off but that doesn't make it less startling news.I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

  12. your mother says:

    Well, that sucks. I'd hire you, but we're sucking over here, too. 🙂

  13. kerryanne says:

    whine away! this sucks!!

  14. rory says:

    Whatever you decide, don't do something you hate just because it's something you know and feel comfortable with.You'll blink and twenty years will have come and gone and you'll be left wondering WTF?If there is something out that you know you would love to do, now may be the time to go for it.Life's a one lap race.

  15. I agree with Alias Mother…do a gut check!

  16. Anonymous says:

    Its friday and I was justthinking about how im dying to get out of here for the day but how selfish I am because some people don't even have jobs. I hope everything worked itself out and that you made a decision that makes you happy :)-L

  17. L, don't feel bad. I've lost my job and I still can't wait to get out of here for the day. I've only been here an hour and a half and already I'm thinking… I wonder how early I can leave. 😉

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