A little rant and ramble for your Saturday. You’re welcome.

It’s Saturday, Internet. Again. I’m sure many bloggers see the same trend, but I get the least amount of traffic on weekends. I like to imagine you’re all out doing exciting things, enjoying the weather, spending time with friends, maybe traveling, hopefully sipping a cool beverage (I’d say cocktail, but some of us are refraining these days).

Me? Well, let’s just say I’m not enjoying a day off. No, I had to wake up much too early and go to work. And working on Saturday is rough. I spend my time sitting in an office, staring at a computer, thinking of everyone (you) having a grand ole time without me. Totally not fair.

So, remember Ben? His son’s baptism is next month. The Husband will be his Godfather. We received our invitation yesterday and in the corner was a photo of Drake. My face lit up. Not only did I recognize the photo, but it was one I had taken during the Super Bowl party and, since then, it’s become one of my absolute favorite photos.

DSC_0278 - e burn

Maybe it’s silly to get so excited over seeing a picture I took on an invitation that is being sent to some friends and family, but I can’t help myself. It was just so unexpected and… flattering.

This is Drake’s sister.

She loves popcorn.

Speaking of photography (I know, we weren’t)… Peeps, I’m discouraged. I realize it’s foolish to feel this way. It’s not as if I’ve spent the past twenty years of my life pursuing something for which I’ve finally realized I posses no talent, but there’s a nagging fear in the back of my head that keeps trying to convince me I’m not good enough, that if I had any talent, it wouldn’t be such a struggle to learn and improve.

I need to stop feeling this way. I realize a big part of the problem is that I compare myself too often to real, live, professional photographers and that’s not fair to myself. I know it will only serve to make me crazy, but I can’t seem to stop. Doesn’t a part of the learning process include studying other photographs? The composition, the light, the technique? Well, how does one do this without also seeing how one’s own photographs suck compare?

I want to feel confident when I look at one of my own photographs and think “damn, that is a good shot” instead of “if so-and-so had taken that picture, it’d be amazing.”

Sigh.

This is all a bit too heavy for a Saturday morning, isn’t it?

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12 Responses to A little rant and ramble for your Saturday. You’re welcome.

  1. I feel the same way about this photography stuff. Exactly! At times I want to start my own business or at least start portfolio build, create my own website, spread the word, perhaps display my shots at a local artist's gallery. But then I freak. I become humbled and cast away any of those thoughts!Now my life is just too busy to even have these thoughts. Well sort of! I keep dreaming.Set your goals Stephanie. If this is a passion you feel so strongly about, go after it.

  2. Violet says:

    My diagnosis is a wee touch of the blues. When there is a lot of stress in my life, my creativity goes right out the window. There have been moments when I felt like I couldn't even string together a coherent sentence, let alone produce something nice/pretty/creative. It sounds to me like maybe the same thing is happening to you – your life is uncertain right now and you are questioning so many things. From things you said (and I admit a little projecting here) I would guess that there is so much going on in your head – both consciously and subconsciously – that there just isn't room for the creative part right now.It will come back. The desire, the confidence in your photos, the progress as a photographer. It will. You love it too much for it to disappear. As I've said before, be gentle with yourself. Those are two beautiful babies – what big eyes they have!

  3. MichelleSG says:

    Oh I have a productive comment for this dreary post! Lets start with #1, I too spent my morning at work (woke up late, rolled in around 10 and finished around 1) but my work is closed on the weekends so it was more productive and independent than anything else so I can't complain.#2, Photography. What you're talking about is content and composition and there are several ways to go about feeling better about yours. Practice is the biggie here but lets just go with the wild assumption that you squeeze it in every chance you get. OK? OK. So the next 2 options aren't always available but just in case they are let me suggest them. First, find someone you can assist with. Most photographers are independent and don't mind having a lacky there free of charge in exchange for helpful tips and hints. They are also invaluable for criticisms on your work. The other option is taking a photography class. Waaay back in the day I went to UCSC (yes, before they decided to have grades) before the days of digi photography even. We had a developing room at our disposal so content was very important. When you can't go in and photoshop something it's twice as important to get it right with the camera. Old skool baby old skool. There is something to be said for taking a class with an instructor critiquing your content, not your photoshop talent. I remember the projects being concepts that we were to take out by ourselves and basically translate. More of a pure art class really but let me tell you, you learn a lot about what the eye sees and how it translates to individuals.BTW, lovely baby pics. Take those kids out to play sometime and make a photo shoot of it.

  4. TheresaG says:

    would it help if I said I look at your photos and think, wow, I could never take a shot like that, or wow, in comparison my shots are point and shoot snapshots… and sometimes…hm..I wonder if I can replicate that type of photo?

  5. Eve says:

    Every artist doesn't think their work is up to par. Just keep doing what you love!

  6. I only have a point-n-shoot so I love your photos. Those kids can't be any cuter.

  7. aliasmother says:

    I assume that this is similar to when I read something incredible and then look at my own poorly written, cliched, unimaginative crap, which I can't even read because the embarrassment makes me squirm and cry, and get so depressed that I don't write again for about a week?Something like that?Yeah. I don't have any solution. Let me know if you find one.

  8. Spruce Hill says:

    I feel the sme way sometimes too. Always remember you see your work with a more critical eye. You are very good and your photos are amazing. You have to have an eye for it not everyone has it, but you do. 🙂

  9. Gayle says:

    Stephanie, your photos are some of the ones I look at on the internet and sigh over because they are so good! You do have talent.

  10. cog says:

    Sorry for the comment lag, but I was out doing exciting things, enjoying the weather, spending time with friends, traveling, and sipping a cool beverage.oh, and making photos.You won't get anywhere as long as you are wishing to take photos like this person or that person, because you are not this person or that person, and, hello, there is already someone taking those photos. I'm not counting the millions of camera owners out there who are mindlessly copying someone else's ideas/photos because they think that's the way to success.You may not think my photos are any good. Hell, sometimes I hate them. But they're mine.Looking at work by other photographers is essential, especially if you look at the work of established masters, but looking and studying how the photographs work is the idea, and not as a basis for comparison. You can't go into it saying Cartier-Bresson is great, and compared to him I suck. Compared to Cartier-Bresson, everyone sucks.All you can do is practice practice practice, and then practice some more, and then try to examine your pictures for what works and what doesn't. Once you get a million or so photos on your clock, maybe you will have decided what and why you're photographing.

  11. rory says:

    We are our own worst critics. Call it the curse of creativity and be happy that at least you have it.Just sayin'.

  12. You're still much better at photography than I am. I think sometimes what it takes, though, is a different perspective. Try something new. Check out a book of challenges from the library. Take a class about alternate photography or build a camera obscura to learn more about how photography developed. Things like that. Sometimes just shifting your perspective a little bit makes a world of difference in your photographs and allows you room to improve =) Good luck!

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