It’s amazing what a good, long crying jag will do for you. Not only will it produce a headache the likes of which I haven’t experienced since, well, two Saturday’s ago (after a Friday spent making friends with too many margaritas), but it will also make you feel totally amazing. Well, as amazing as one can feel after their whole life is flushed down the toilet.
And, hey, look at that. I took it one step too far. No, I haven’t been drinking, but I should start. I think I have a half empty bottle of Cuervo around here somewhere and, yes, I’m a pessimist. In case you couldn’t tell.
My mother told me I need to start blogging again and I said no. I don’t. I said that’s the beauty of having YOUR OWN BLOG. I can quit whenever I feel like it. Once upon a time, my mother and my two sisters and I created a blog. It didn’t work out. Too many creative differences. Hence, here we are.
But she has a point. I need to distract myself. But what is one supposed to
talk write about when one has absolutely nothing to say. And by “nothing” I mean he left me which also means I’M A LUNATIC.
You know, not to get off subject here (’cause I did have a point), but I have never come across a good blog about divorce. (Contradiction in terms?) Anyway, I wouldn’t be surprised if there wasn’t one, because who can keep it together when their spouse says I don’t know if I want to be with you anymore.
So, I opened my laptop and proceeded to stare at my computer screen. The fact is I knew if I started writing I wouldn’t be able to stop the unwanted, sarcastic commentary about the direction my life has taken recently. (And, sure enough, I was
write right.) So, in an effort to prevent that, I turned to this website.
And what did it give me as a topic to blow all others away?
“Have you ever bought anything that has its own infomercial (like the ShamWow or Snuggie)?”
And I was all oh, come on! Because how could stupid Plinky know that The Husband bought me a Snuggie for Christmas? Even the internet wants me to be miserable.