I’m not sure if I’ve sufficiently conveyed just how anal I actually am, but if I haven’t, this post should do the trick.
Tomorrow night, The Husband and I have been invited to a friend’s house for a casual holiday dinner. It’ll be a small gathering; just The Husband and I, his two best friends, their wives and children.
My poor husband is the last man standing without kids. Well, maybe he shoulda thunk twice before marrying someone eleven years younger. Hmph.
But I digress. They’re doing it potluck style and we volunteered to bring (what else?) the dessert. I immediately wanted to bake a cake. A cake is a far cry from the normal holiday pies that everyone’s been consuming since Thanksgiving and, I thought, a welcome change.
At first I chose to do a chocolate cake with peppermint frosting. See? I’m still keeping with the theme. But then I made a sample cake for The Husband to take to work. I wanted to see what the reactions were. And… they were good.
But the cake? It wasn’t very pretty. I don’t bake and frost a lot of cakes and I was perturbed by all the little imperfections that come from doing so. It just wasn’t… perfect.
So, then I thought cupcakes. I can still use the same flavors, but I can frost cupcakes perfectly and use mini candy canes or other chocolates to decorate and it would be totally cute and festive. Not to mention kid/clean-up friendly.
But would cupcakes be too… I don’t know… birthday-ish?
This is when I started obsessing. What if cupcakes are too childish? What if nobody likes peppermint? What if they don’t like chocolate!? What if, what if, what if.
Last night I finally cracked. “Can’t I just go buy a fucking cake from a bakery and pass it off as my own?!” I asked The Husband.
He replied, “Honey, you can do whatever you want.” He then proceeded to rattle off some sports stats and I threw a fit because YOU’RE NOT LISTENING TO ME.
“Yes, I am,” he said, still staring at his computer screen. “I heard everything you said.”
“But you didn’t listen. I AM SURROUNDED BY BAD LISTENERS!”
And I stormed off to my laptop in hopes that the internet would be able to provide the answer to all life’s problems.
Now it’s Friday and the dinner is tomorrow. I have this vision in my head of showing up with a cake that nobody wants and we’ll sit around staring at it as it sits on the table missing two pieces; the one I cut for myself because I’m normal and love chocolate and the giant piece I’ll cut for The Husband because WHEN YOU SAID “I DO” IT MEANT YOU’D EAT A HUGE PORTION OF ANYTHING I BAKE JUST TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.
As I’ve perused the internet today, I thought of making this chocolate sheet cake, except turning into a round two-layer cake and drizzling the middle and top with chocolate frosting so it kind of cascades down the sides in a pretty little waterfall of chocolate (I’m starting to feel better)… Only, I’ve never made this cake before and that, for me, usually spells disaster.