Just one reason I’ve stopped answering my phone.

One of the pitfalls of working in a hotel are the inevitable requests for discounts from relatives you haven’t heard from since the last time they needed a hotel room.

These usually end up being the worst kind of guest. It’s like they suddenly forgot how to travel. It’s really quite something to watch your (relatively) normal relatives suddenly become completely incapable of anything.

Should you decide to help, you will (from the time the request comes through to three months after they check out) receive no fewer than eight thousand phone calls. All will be made with the intention of asking one single question, which will be so stupid you begin wondering how these people even leave the house alone on a daily basis.

Each call will occur while you’re in the middle of dinner or sex and last anywhere from three to nine minutes (long enough to completely piss off your partner) and usually require that you make at least one additional phone call after the initial call has ended.

Of course, the people you’ve so generously decided to help are totally oblivious to the trouble they’re putting you through. In fact, they’ll likely feel put out should they encounter any problems, which is funny, because these problems are usually brought on by themselves.

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